SEX. Want to know more?
Here you can find more frequently asked questions, as well as links and further reading.
Everyone I know has had sex already, except for me! Am I normal?
Absolutely! The decision to have sex is a personal one, and it’s important to take your time deciding and not feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to. Being in a happy, healthy relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have sex. And remember – sometimes people ‘brag’ about sex to try and look cool. They may in fact still be a virgin just like you, so you’re not the only one!
I like both guys and girls – is there something wrong with me?
Being attracted to people of the same sex is as natural as being attracted to people of the opposite sex. No one knows what causes our sexual attractions. Many people think of sexuality as a range of sexual attraction - some people are attracted to the same sex, some are attracted to the opposite sex and some are attracted to both sexes. These feelings can change at different times in your life. It takes time to know who you are – it’s OK to question your sexuality and it’s OK to be unsure. It’s all part of finding out about yourself. Don’t feel pressured to explain your sexuality to others if you don’t want to – deciding whether to tell people or not is your choice. Working out who you are attracted to can be a confusing and challenging time. Remember that whatever you decide is OK, and that there are people you can talk to about your feelings.
My partner is pressuring me to have sex - I'm scared they'll hurt me if I say no. What should I do?
Lots of people feel pressured into having sex, even when they are not ready, but no-one has the right to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to, or to make you feel unsafe.
This situation is an example of an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships are where one person intimidates the other to get them to do what they want. Abuse can be physical, verbal, emotional or sexual. Sexual abuse is when someone makes you do sexual things that you don’t want to do through force, pressure or manipulation, such as saying things like ‘you’d do it if you loved me’. Young people often don’t always realise they are in an abusive relationship.
If you’re in an abusive relationship it is important to find someone you trust to talk to about your feelings, and to make a safety plan for yourself. If you feel you can’t break up with the person, talk to family and friends and get them to help protect you by being around. If you decide to break up with the person it is a good idea to have a friend or family member with you at the time, and talk to someone about what you can do to legally protect yourself.
Remember, abuse is not acceptable in any relationship – in fact, it’s against the law.
For more sexual health questions and answers see our FAQs page.
Websites
www.freedom.org.au Information for same-sex attracted youth
www.somazone.com.au Information on youth issues
www.thehormonefactory.com Information on sex, growing up and conception
www.youthsayno.wa.gov.au Information about family and domestic violence
www.reachout.com.au Information about grief, depression and related issues
www.hubba.co.nz Take the hubba hubba challenge and learn about safe sex and STIs
www.likeitis.org.au Tells it like it is about sex, puberty, contraception etc.
Get the Facts - Information and support on sexual health and relationships for young people in WA
Resources
An intergalactic guide to relationships for young people
Who's chatting to your kids? Booklet for parents of children with Internet access
Someone you love Iinformation for parents, families and friends of gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people
You are not alone Information for same sex attracted, questioning and gender diverse youth
Talk about sex Information for young people about sexuality and sexual health
GQ : Gender Questioning Information for young people about questioning gender
Books
Montano, Josie (2006) Sex stuff they don't teach you at school, Lothian Books, Melbourne, VIC.
Pallotta-Chiarolli, Maria (comp. & ed.) (1998) Girls' talk: young women speak their hearts and minds, Finch, Lane Cove, NSW.
Jukes, Mavis (2002) The Guy book: an owner's manual for teens (safety, maintenance and operating instructions for teens) Crown Publishers, New York, NY.
Movsessian, Shushann (2004) Puberty girl, Allen & Unwin, Crows Nest, NSW.
Price, Geoff (2005) Puberty Boy, Allen & Unwin, Crows Nest, NSW
Search our Library catalogue for a full list of books held by FPWA Sexual Health Services.
Page last updated Thu, 12 Aug 2010 14:53
